Are the sprinklers on in the outfield? Good. Go sit on one. It is a well known fact in the proctological sciences that an average human American male compacts his bowels three times beyond their elasticated limits during the winter months, when there is less to do, and more time to eat. What is not as well known is the link between empty bowels and a clear head. Thus, sprinkler head enema. Works every time for me.
Archive for the ‘Sportswriting’ Category
Corby Anderson’s Fearless and Lucid 2011 Major League Baseball Predictions
Posted in Sportswriting on March 30, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Real Time: Where Shakey, Superman, Rush and Arod Chase The Pig
Posted in Sportswriting, tagged A-Rod, Alex Rodriguez, CA, Corby Anderson, David Stern, Dwight Howard, H1N1, humor, Immigration, LincVolt, Marina, Mexico, Neil Young, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Sports, Sports writing, Superman, Swine Flu, Willie Nelson on August 27, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Flying is out these days, for a variety of reasons, first and foremost is the Swine Flu, which has grounded most business travel not just to the blue agave flats of Mexico, where the flu reportedly spontaneously combusted, but all over the United States, and the World. Not even Air Force One is in the air today, despite a perfectly clear spring day over the obviously gun-shy island town of Manhattan.
No, the flu has wiped out school tests, and sporting events, drug runs, and illegal immigration. The whole world is holding their breath, hoping not to catch “The Pig.”
Meanwhile, pharmaceutical stocks are strong, and so are those of 3M and other masking agents. Yet doctors are convinced that the masks are worthless, other than to give some semblance of confidence, a shred of hope to a doubly stunned populace that is still trying to figure out how to pay the cable bill with an unemployment check that has yet to arrive.
Semenuk scorches field to win Sea Otter Classic Dual Stunt Pro title (Sea Otter Classic news release)
Posted in Sportswriting, tagged Dual Stunt, Mountain Biking, Sea Otter Classic on April 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Semenuk exemplified the laid-back, hard-core style when he was asked to don the yellow victors jersey for the podium photographs. The instant that he left the stage, and with the envelope containing his day’s winnings sticking haphazardly out of his front pocket, and his sprocket shaped first-place medal hanging from a lanyard out of the other, he immediately tore off the prized jersey and jammed it into the back pocket of his rock-star tight, mud splattered grey Levi’s.
Leipheimer grinds out solo Sea Otter road race victory against powerful Bissell Team
Posted in Sportswriting, tagged bicycle, Fort Ord, Leipheimer, Sea Otter Classic on April 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Friday was a spectacular one for a bicycle race. Refreshingly warm, with a slight coastal breeze to cool down the riders who might otherwise have overheated on the winding, hill studded 69-mile course that looped through the verdant sage and oak forests of the Fort Ord backcountry, the weather sparkled, but the star was clearly Leipheimer.
Cromwell powers ahead of pack in blistering pace to win Sea Otter Classic road race
Posted in Sportswriting on April 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Catherine Cheatley added a third place finish to Colavita/Sutter Home’s haul, a remarkable feat considering that just three months prior she fractured her hip in a brutal Chinese Velodrome accident.
